We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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