Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
