Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
