I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize