i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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