So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
