Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
