One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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