If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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