Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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