What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Randomize
