I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize