Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
