I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
