at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
