I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
