It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
