These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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