I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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