We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
