well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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