____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You took a bar mat shot.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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