We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
