Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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