420 ftw
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize