ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize