just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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