it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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