Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
