i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
