I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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