just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
