Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
