just come out here and I will go home with you...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
