Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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