you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
