Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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