There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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