I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
