Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
