I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize