Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
