i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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