It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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