you're like a bully in the Christmas story
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
