You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
