So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
