guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
