You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
