Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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