when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
