I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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