i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
