this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
