he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
