btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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