The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
