i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
