brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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