Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
