why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
