Already got asked if we're dating
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
