went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize