We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
