Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
