Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
