I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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