so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
