Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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