I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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