we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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