im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
