so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
