I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
