He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
