so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
