I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
