The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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