Define "chronic" masturbator.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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