I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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